The Most Wonderful Time of the Year (Says Who?)

A gentle look at why Christmas isn’t easy for everyone

The popular narrative is that Christmas is automatically a time of joy for everyone; it’s painted as a time of joy, celebration and belonging. December arrives loudly, dressed in glitter - fairy lights in windows, themed songs in every shop and an unspoken expectation that you’ll feel festive about it. However for many, this season carries a heaviness that isn’t always spoken about; it’s a period of heightened feelings, old memories, complicated family dynamics, and a quiet pressure to feel grateful, joyful or festive on demand.

There are so many reasons December can hurt:

• The loss of someone we wish was still here

• Estrangement and complicated family relationships

• The pressure to be cheerful when we’re struggling inside

• Memories of happier times that haunt rather than comfort

• Family dynamics that feel more like obligation than ease

• Trauma tied to this time of year

• Loneliness - even in a room full of people

• Financial strain and stretched budgets

• Burnout from a year that asked too much of us

These struggles don't appear in the festive adverts but they are all real, valid and present.

You’re Not Weak for Finding This Month Difficult

If you’re moving through December with a heavy heart, let me be be clear: you’re not broken. You’re not failing, it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re human. Joy isn’t compulsory. Festive spirit isn’t a test you have to pass. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is get through the day you’re in. Whether you’re counting down with excitement or just trying to make it to January, your experience is valid. You’re allowed to find this season hard. You’re allowed to take up space in it. You’re allowed to meet this season where you are, not where you think you should be.

Small Ways to Be Kind to Yourself This Month

This month, if you are having a tough time, try offering yourself the same kindness you’d give someone you care about.

Instead of pushing yourself to feel merry, what if you tried being gentle with yourself? What if your December was allowed to hold a little softness, some honesty, and permission to rest?

A few small ideas:

• Set boundaries - It’s okay to say no. Even to things you usually say yes to

• Lower expectations - You don’t have to do everything, or be everything, for everyone

• Remember perfection is a myth - good enough really is good enough

• Create micro-moments of care - a warm drink, a quiet walk, a few moments alone to breathe

• Honour whatever shows up - Sadness. Nostalgia. Relief. Hope. None of it needs fixing.

  
  

If this month feels heavier than you expected, you don’t have to carry it on your own.

If you're struggling this Christmas, here are a few free ways to find support for your mental health:

• Samaritans - 116 123 (open every day, all through Christmas)

• Shout - Text “SHOUT” to 85258 (available 24/7)

• NHS 111 - if you’re in a mental health crisis and need immediate help, call 111 and select the mental health option to be connected to urgent support